xfer_{up,down}load_gotpkt free their input sftp_packet as a side

xfer_{up,down}load_gotpkt free their input sftp_packet as a side
effect of handling it, but they do not free it if it isn't a packet
they recognise as part of their upload/download. Invent a return value
that specifically signals this, and consistently free pktin at every
call site if that return value comes back. Also, ensure that that
return value also always comes with something meaningful in fxp_error.

[originally from svn r9915]